

The person with narcissism had expressed love, but is now exhibiting distancing and detaching behaviors, which are not in alignment with the initial honeymoon stage (Carter and Sokol). The target then becomes incredibly confused and experiences what is called cognitive dissonance, or a state of confusion. And the moment the target is hooked, distancing maneuvers ensue, which serve to disorient and confuse the target. Subsequently, that individual then feigns love for the target. The target, who generally has the capacity for true, mature intimacy and love, is intelligent, attractive, and successful, then falls head over heels in love with the person with narcissistic tendencies. This “hunting” can occur on dating websites or in the initial stages of dating (Brown). The target is unaware that the individual then hones in on the target, studying the desired love object so that he or she can then act as the target’s soulmate, in essence. Initially the person with narcissism presents as a knight in shining armor, completely in sync with the target’s emotions and dreams. It would make sense that individuals pulling away from someone like this would experience tremendous loss and trauma (Brown). Although by no means exhaustive of the complexity describing the individual suffering from narcissism, the DSM-IV states that people with narcissism exhibit the following traits: inflated sense of superiority, grandiosity, attention-seeking, self-absorption, arrogance, entitlement, and limited capacity to empathize and reciprocate in relationships.


These people thrive on attention (negative or positive) and will do anything in their power to ensure that their primary and secondary sources of NS are working in concert to feed the insecure ego of a broken psyche. Individuals who exhibit malignantly narcissistic behaviors are predatory in nature and seek to “conquer” targets to fuel their narcissistic supply (NS), which is the emotional sustenance which drives and fills them.

